(Remembering a few years ago...I find myself on this same journey many days.)
To tell you the truth momming does not come naturally to me. It’s something I have felt guilty about in the past, that others do it so much better than me. That it's supposed to be natural and effortless, something I should feel like I was born to be. It’s something I have to work at…something I have to be intentional about. Other things come easier.
I am not downplaying being a mom for one second. I wouldn’t change it for the whole wide world. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you it isn’t hard, exhausting, and self -sacrificing on so many levels, and that’s probably why it it may feel hard for me. We all want to preface it with, it’s so worth it, but dang it is hard.
But this week I caught little glimpses of why it’s so worth it, being a mom to these two. The way they love, care, and stick up for one another is all I need to see. The way they still make each other laugh after hours together in the car, the way they have their own private jokes, and the way they cheer each other on is priceless to me. I love seeing how they are being strong for one another, protecting each other, and loving one another in their actions.
It could be as simple as Holden making a nutella sandwich first for his sister before he makes one for himself, or sis bringing down Holden’s favorite blanket without him asking, just because she knows he needs it.
This week we went to McDonalds playground. Some mean girls decided to stake out the playground apparently. We didn’t realize McDonalds had playground gangs.
I guess the little girls said, they were going to take away Carter Mae’s doll that she had in her hands, because they were the boss of her.
Holden sitting right beside her says, “you could never take it away from her, she’s too strong.”
The little girl said, "I am stronger, look at me I can climb this pole.” (she starts to climb the pole, but doesn’t get far).
Holden: "Well, my sister can climb a rope all the way to the roof, so….”
Grant and I watched this take place and we watched our son protect his sister without being asked. We watched his sister beam with confidence and pride because her favorite person was telling others she was strong.
It was one of those weeks, I just really melted into my role as mom, even though that word encompasses so much.
I think I just wanted to let other moms know who are in the throws of young mommy hood that it’s ok to feel exhausted, tired, and even like you weren’t made to do this thing. The little years are not for the faint of heart.
There will be days when you feel like you GOT IT, and days you have no idea why you were asked to be these kids mom, because you most certainly will screw them up.
Other things may come easier to you and you may compare yourself to others. You probably haven’t slept very well, and you probably forgot what “YOU” were before kiddos.
And although those days come and go, sometimes it feels like you are in a season forever, there will be glimpses and experiences that you sit back and just can’t believe you get to watch these little ones come into their own, and it starts to mean something, it starts to mean everything and you soak it in and, breathe deep and, think I'm doing ok...
Recently I did a FACEBOOK LIVE on loving our kids well. I asked lots of people about what this meant to them. To watch this https://www.facebook.com/bestrongstory/videos/544046459303868/
We talk about:
HOW TO LET GO
GIVING OURSELVES GRACE
We would love to hear your thoughts and advice, and the moments that make you sit back, and say, "everything is going to be ok!"