CELEBRATE AND SADDLE UP.
Last week we talked about parenting. How to love our kiddos well. And as I talk to other moms about “momming,” there is a certain theme that shows up. We talk about the ever present mom-guilt, but the glaring topic that seeps inside of us, whether we voice it or not, is that nasty thing called comparison. The thing that steals ALL the joy from what we are really doing well. The time we show up to our kids Valentine’s party and we are so proud of ourselves for actually getting them their cheap, sponge bob square pants cardboard cards on time. Like the actual day before they are due, when you realize every other mom in your kids preschool class has done a full fledge goodie bag with homemade treats specialized to each student’s dietary needs. (not really, but kind of).
If we are honest that would throw us right off our game. The joy that we felt when we got our kids cards on time, sat with them and laughed while watching them try to write their friends names in their best pre-writing penmanship, flies out the door. Because all we can think about is how our kid are the only one who didn’t bring a full gluten-free gift basket to his classmates.
Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why does someone else’s awesome make us feel not awesome? Inadequate?
I love the quote, "YOU DO YOU!"
Seriously, you do what you are capable of, what you love to do, what brings you joy. Not what stresses you out, not what you feel like you HAVE to do to compete or feel worth as a woman, a mom.
When I had my kids, I had only heard about the drama of mom-relationships. I wanted no part. I hadn’t had drama in a relationship since junior high and I wasn’t about to start now. So I avoided others mom like the plague. I would drop off my kid and run to the car, no coffee dates, no play dates, nada.
When Holden went to first grade, I changed my tune. I thought if I meet mom’s who are killing it in the “Mom game,” instead of that making me feel inadequate, I am going to celebrate them and saddle up beside them.
Meaning, I am going to tell them they are doing an awesome job, and then do life with them, ask them to help me with what I am not gifted at, or my personality suits, and do it together. Those who are super organized moms could totally intimidate me, because I am not that. I am going to forget my kids’ field trips and permission slips. But if I celebrate and saddle up to that mom that has all the things planned, they help keep me organized too.
We trade talents. I help decorate for a class party or carpool their kids somewhere, and they promise to text me when a permission slip is due. We help each other, we do life together, and let me tell you, it is so much more fun that way.
All of us have different things we bring to the table. Most likely the mom that you envy or think has it all together, had the same fight that you did with their kid that morning. They may have even cried like you did, when you dropped them off, they just may have bigger sunglasses and an ability to smile through the pain.
Let’s be a company of women who celebrates and saddles up.